Lying flat to survive a falling elevator: A stupid myth that just won't die

What's the best way to survive a falling elevator? If you ask the internet, "experts" seem to unanimously agree that lying flat is your best option. 

Which experts? Oh, it's hard to find -- everyone just says "experts" because they parroted another article that said "experts". If you look really hard you might find a really old article citing ONE single actual expert, whose specialization isn't even in physics but rather in medical sciences.

The "expert" advice outright dismisses the technique used by real expert parachuters to cushion their landing, based on some completely unproven hypothesis that said technique would cause the bones in your legs to shatter instantly. I don't know about you, but even if this were true, I'd much rather have my leg bones shatter than my organs and brain. Don't you think there's a reason human beings have an instinct to land on their feet when falling a long distance? In this case your legs are analogous to the "crumple zone" of a car -- the section in front which sacrifices itself to save the more important cargo. Your leg muscles are important for a landing. To "distribute the forces evenly" without even using your leg muscles wastes a perfectly amazing tool evolved over million years for very purpose of absorbing shock. 

Hey I've got an idea, let's both jump off a 5-foot ledge; I'll land on my feet, and you can land on your back. 

I'll even give us both a flat metal board, to simulate the "floor" of the elevator. 

What's the matter? Isn't it better to land on your back because it "distributes forces evenly"?

Here's one thing we learned about expert advice regarding masks during the coronavirus pandemic: The more theoretical the reasoning and further removed from actual scientific evidence, the less reliable "expert" intuition is. So, do not trust experts, unless they support their claim with scientific studies. 

If anyone ever finds empirical (aka real-life, scientific) evidence which proves me wrong, please let me know in the comments and I will happily update this article.