Short dream sequence:
I had recently attempted to zip-line across a great distance of water, via a rope connecting two separate islands. I had accidentally let go and dropped into open water. Now I was swimming backwards to try to get back to the island.
I turned around while swimming backwards and discovered that a large crocodile was waiting for me with its mouth open. It sprung forward to try to eat me. I remembered reading somewhere that it is impossible to hold a crocodile's jaws open, but possible to hold a crocodile's jaws closed. So I made sure to clamp my arms around its jaws before they had a chance to open again.
The crocodile struggled in my grasp, trying unsuccessfully to open its mouth and eat me. I realized that I had to kill the crocodile or it would continue to struggle. At first, I tried bending its snout/mouth. Surprisingly, its mouth gave way and folded in half. However, the flexible-mouth crocodile was not wounded or deterred at all.
Then, as we were drifting towards the island, I picked up a nearby piece of cooked beef (lying on the beach of the island) and attempted to stick the small piece of beef in the crocodile's eye. This was ineffective, so I opted instead to stick my bare thumbs into both of its eyes, a maneuver taken directly from a gory scene in "28 Days Later," a zombie movie. This not only destroyed the crocodile's eyes but also caused it to die from pain.
As the crocodile died, it rasped, "My intestines will find you and take revenge!" Then, numerous flat egg noodles sprung from its torso and wriggled towards me. They looked edible.
The end.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Thursday, April 2, 2009
My WoW bot got banned :(
Just thought I'd like to bitch about my problems here.
My friend claims to make 30-40 dollars per day running his bot* on World of Warcraft and selling the gold he earns for cash**. This inspired me to write my own bot, because I need money. My parents are always watching how much money I use via bank statements and they get suspicious when I buy too much food (they think I'm buying drugs with it or something).
*bot: a program that does shit for you automatically so you can go to class or sleep or have a life while your character does shit in the game.
**lots o' people like to buy gold (World of Warcraft currency) with real cash using techniques such as Paypal.
So I bought WoW for 20 bucks, wrote up a pixel-detection fishing bot, and started to make some money.
At first, business was slow and I only earned 5.50 US dollars worth of gold in 2 weeks. But I had GLORIOUS PLANS to improve my bot and automate even more tasks to earn up to 10 US dollars per day.
Unfortunately today I received an email from Blizzard Entertainment informing me that my account had been banned on the grounds of "manipulating the economy." I find it highly ironic that they banned me for flooding the game economy with little fishies, but not for botting, which is the more serious offense!
I got so depressed that I sent them this confession email as a small joke. I doubt I will get a response:
[Dear WoW account administration,
Today I discovered that my account (theguy126, US) was banned from World of Warcraft without prior notice, for "economy manipulation."
I know you do not condone botting or selling gold or any sort of that thing, but please realize that WoW is my only source of income. I am a UC Berkeley student with an inadequate mealplan, and I often need to buy food with my own money. As a student, I do not have the time to find a job or to work part-time. My parents provide me with cash, but they become suspicious that I am spending cash on other dubious things when they see the bill (even though I only buy food).
My bot on WoW earns me a very small amount of real-world cash below minimum wage (at best, 2 dollars per day). It is a pixel-detecting, intelligent fishing bot that I wrote by myself after hours of tedious hard work. It is self-sustainable and "learns" to adjust certain variables to reliably recognize the fishing bobber, and does not require specification of whether it is "night" or "day" or what color the bobber is. I was planning to improve its effectiveness by having it automatically auction the fish, and also automatically alternate between multiple realms -- this would earn maybe up to 10 dollars per day. I was very depressed when I discovered that my account was banned. The hours I spent working on my masterpiece Auto-it bot were wasted.
Please do not take away my only source of income for food. I am dead serious when I say that the only things I buy with my money are food, milk, and orange juice. Since my mealplan is inadequate, I have no cash to spare for extra things. I don't even play WoW for fun; in fact, I bought WoW for the sole reason of making cash. I was inspired by my friend who claims to earn 40 dollars per day botting on WoW.
Please, reactivate my account so I won't have to go hungry. Like I said, my parents provide me with cash, but I need to earn some of my own money in order to eat as much as I want without feeling remorse or fearing suspicion from my parents. The amount that I earn is hardly worth anything to you, but it helps to keep me from starvation. I am very serious about this (I weigh only 140 pounds and need to gain weight).
Sincerely,
Max
P.S. despite the somewhat joking tone of my email, everything I say is completely true (my parents will still let me buy food, but I really do want to eat whatever I want without feeling remorse, and I only weigh 143 pounds), and I really would appreciate it if my account were reactivated.]
My friend claims to make 30-40 dollars per day running his bot* on World of Warcraft and selling the gold he earns for cash**. This inspired me to write my own bot, because I need money. My parents are always watching how much money I use via bank statements and they get suspicious when I buy too much food (they think I'm buying drugs with it or something).
*bot: a program that does shit for you automatically so you can go to class or sleep or have a life while your character does shit in the game.
**lots o' people like to buy gold (World of Warcraft currency) with real cash using techniques such as Paypal.
So I bought WoW for 20 bucks, wrote up a pixel-detection fishing bot, and started to make some money.
At first, business was slow and I only earned 5.50 US dollars worth of gold in 2 weeks. But I had GLORIOUS PLANS to improve my bot and automate even more tasks to earn up to 10 US dollars per day.
Unfortunately today I received an email from Blizzard Entertainment informing me that my account had been banned on the grounds of "manipulating the economy." I find it highly ironic that they banned me for flooding the game economy with little fishies, but not for botting, which is the more serious offense!
I got so depressed that I sent them this confession email as a small joke. I doubt I will get a response:
[Dear WoW account administration,
Today I discovered that my account (theguy126, US) was banned from World of Warcraft without prior notice, for "economy manipulation."
I know you do not condone botting or selling gold or any sort of that thing, but please realize that WoW is my only source of income. I am a UC Berkeley student with an inadequate mealplan, and I often need to buy food with my own money. As a student, I do not have the time to find a job or to work part-time. My parents provide me with cash, but they become suspicious that I am spending cash on other dubious things when they see the bill (even though I only buy food).
My bot on WoW earns me a very small amount of real-world cash below minimum wage (at best, 2 dollars per day). It is a pixel-detecting, intelligent fishing bot that I wrote by myself after hours of tedious hard work. It is self-sustainable and "learns" to adjust certain variables to reliably recognize the fishing bobber, and does not require specification of whether it is "night" or "day" or what color the bobber is. I was planning to improve its effectiveness by having it automatically auction the fish, and also automatically alternate between multiple realms -- this would earn maybe up to 10 dollars per day. I was very depressed when I discovered that my account was banned. The hours I spent working on my masterpiece Auto-it bot were wasted.
Please do not take away my only source of income for food. I am dead serious when I say that the only things I buy with my money are food, milk, and orange juice. Since my mealplan is inadequate, I have no cash to spare for extra things. I don't even play WoW for fun; in fact, I bought WoW for the sole reason of making cash. I was inspired by my friend who claims to earn 40 dollars per day botting on WoW.
Please, reactivate my account so I won't have to go hungry. Like I said, my parents provide me with cash, but I need to earn some of my own money in order to eat as much as I want without feeling remorse or fearing suspicion from my parents. The amount that I earn is hardly worth anything to you, but it helps to keep me from starvation. I am very serious about this (I weigh only 140 pounds and need to gain weight).
Sincerely,
Max
P.S. despite the somewhat joking tone of my email, everything I say is completely true (my parents will still let me buy food, but I really do want to eat whatever I want without feeling remorse, and I only weigh 143 pounds), and I really would appreciate it if my account were reactivated.]
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