Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label food. Show all posts

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Music is like food

Traditionally, people liken music to traditional visual arts, such as painting or sculpting. This is rather erroneous. Music is more like food than anything else.

-There is the "composer" (the person who invented the recipe) and there is the "performer" (the person who cooks the food). The composer is credited as the intellectual creator but the performer has the freedom to insert his own artistic interpretations/deviations, just like in cooking. Some "folk songs" (well-known popular recipes, e.g. burrito) have been around for millenia but people are always finding new ways to "remix" them.

-Music and food are both artistic creations that cater towards the masses. We have our Britney Spears (McDonalds), Coldplay (In-N-Out), and Radiohead (Chipotle). The food n00bs who like sugary milk chocolate tend to also like tasteless music. The food pros who dislike sweets usually avoid bad music.

-Often, a band will be famous for one or two songs, e.g. "The Eagles are ok, but their song Hotel California rocks my socks." Similarly, some restaurants are famous for just one or two dishes.

-The average person, upon hearing a song, feels emotions but cannot identify the exact pitches being played. A skilled musician hears a song and knows exactly what notes and chords are being played by what instruments. Similarly, the average person, upon tasting some food, feels some emotions but cannot identify the exact ingredients being used. A skilled chef tastes some food and knows exactly how much salt and what types of oil were used.

-Skilled chefs (such as the ones featured on the TV program Iron Chef) are often creative, thinking of new ways to make their food more uniquely tasteful and beautiful. However, food doesn't have to be cooked by a top chef to be enjoyable; it can be as stereotypical and uncreative as a hamburger or ice cream cone. Similarly, skilled composers strive to find a way to affix a unique sound or style to their music, but some people such as Jason Mraz still find success in the extremely overused I V vi IV chord progression. In either case, whether it is original or stereotypical, the end product must still be enjoyable.

This is why the new 21st century "avant-garde" musicians are going down the wrong path. These people pride themselves with composing music that sounds somewhat interesting and extremely horrible. Imagine if a chef mixed together some orange juice, syrup, vinegar, poo, and eggs together into an ornate bowl and said, "Voila, zis is avant garde! I am proud of my creation because normal people will never eat it!" Perhaps if avant-garde musicians treated their music like food rather than modern art, they would realize that originality isn't everything, and that the end product must still be tasty.


Catering to the inferior half of America

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Crocodile Intestines

Short dream sequence:

I had recently attempted to zip-line across a great distance of water, via a rope connecting two separate islands. I had accidentally let go and dropped into open water. Now I was swimming backwards to try to get back to the island.

I turned around while swimming backwards and discovered that a large crocodile was waiting for me with its mouth open. It sprung forward to try to eat me. I remembered reading somewhere that it is impossible to hold a crocodile's jaws open, but possible to hold a crocodile's jaws closed. So I made sure to clamp my arms around its jaws before they had a chance to open again.

The crocodile struggled in my grasp, trying unsuccessfully to open its mouth and eat me. I realized that I had to kill the crocodile or it would continue to struggle. At first, I tried bending its snout/mouth. Surprisingly, its mouth gave way and folded in half. However, the flexible-mouth crocodile was not wounded or deterred at all.

Then, as we were drifting towards the island, I picked up a nearby piece of cooked beef (lying on the beach of the island) and attempted to stick the small piece of beef in the crocodile's eye. This was ineffective, so I opted instead to stick my bare thumbs into both of its eyes, a maneuver taken directly from a gory scene in "28 Days Later," a zombie movie. This not only destroyed the crocodile's eyes but also caused it to die from pain.

As the crocodile died, it rasped, "My intestines will find you and take revenge!" Then, numerous flat egg noodles sprung from its torso and wriggled towards me. They looked edible.

The end.