Evil Sam Dream

Part 1:

I am in some sort of obstacle course marathon with a friend. We encounter some cuts of cooked pork (one of the many food resources scattered throughout the park to prevent starvation), but it is completely unprotected from the elements, and some ants are crawling on it. "You know, I'm really glad that it's just ants, because if it were worms I'd totally not eat this," I tell my obstacle course buddy. Then a strange-looking pincer bug scampers across one of the meats. I cringe and lose all appetite. My buddy calls me a pansy.

Part 2:

At some point during what appeared to be an innocent conversation with Sam and his accomplice, a white car spontaneously appeared out of nowhere and crashed into two innocent people in the room, sending them flying. They were not the target -- I was. The car had been headed for me but they were in the way, and they slowed the momentum of the car just enough for me to sidestep it.

At this point Sam and his accomplice both haughtily revealed that they had plans to take over the world. Apparently the first step of this plan was to kill me.

The car kept running people over, trying to get to me. I kept reassuring myself, "Ahn is driving the car so of course he will not run me over," but unfortunately he kept trying to run me over.

I realized that if I took out the two masterminds, Ahn would stop, so I started with Sam's accomplice (who had now morphed into an exact clone of Sam) and osoto-gari'd* him towards the ground while driving his head into a wall. This banged him up enough to knock him unconscious. I did the same thing to Real Sam, banged his head up pretty good against the wall -- but he remained conscious. He grabbed my shoulders, looked me straight in the eye, and said something cheesy like "I am not so easily defeated." The end.

*osoto-gari: A basic judo takedown involving an outer leg reap.

approximate representation of the white car that kept running people over.

The Origins of the Zerg

Most people believe the Zerg to have origins from the Xel Naga. My dreams have told me otherwise. Believe it or not, the Zerg actually came from broccoli!

The Zerg were actually born from man-made genetic engineering. 1,000 years into the future, I witness the standard medical procedure to treating an infested human, and one of the most important steps is to withhold any forms of modern organic food, especially "modern broccoli." "Modern" refers to anything made within the past couple centuries or so; "ancient broccoli" refers to any breed of broccoli that we currently eat (21st century).

Why broccoli, you may ask? Well it just so happens that through the years of constant genetic engineering and "improvement" of food, broccoli was the first such food to develop sentient clusters of cells that deviated from our human goals of improving nourishment. Those other broccoli cells had their own goals in mind, and because of our genetic engineering they had become very, very adept at lightning-fast evolution/mutation. They were the Zerg.

I witnessed another scene in which one military commander takes a large gulp of wine, only to keel over dead seconds later. A separate commander, believing the first to have simply had extremely low alcohol tolerance, takes a small sip of the same wine and also keels over dead. This wine has had its food cells infested by the Zerg.

So, as you can see, it started with broccoli, but currently any organic material is at risk of having been compromised by the Zerg. Most modern foods are not infested, but some are -- you have to be careful what you eat or you might be at risk for becoming a Zerg. When in doubt, go ancient! Eat only breeds of food that have not been genetically altered since 2800 a.d.

Just my two cents.

If you eat broccoli you become like this after a couple years