another nightmare

I come downstairs and my dad asks me where my sister went.

I look around the whole room but I can't find her.

I peer over the top of a coffee mug to see if she is inside that, but she is not inside the coffee mug. Anyway, I have no idea why I looked inside a coffee mug for a girl about 1,000 times its size; perhaps it was because I was high in the dream (in the dream, not in real life! lol)

But then oh, suddenly Christine is right there, sitting in her usual dinner table seat. I point that out to my father, "Christine's right there."

He looks in her general direction, laughs and shakes his head, and CONTINUES TO LOOK FOR CHRISTINE.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! i scream and wake up uncomfortably.

Ah, the hardships of being a dinosaur

I am a dinosaur, in a pack of dinosaurs of varying species. I use the term "pack" loosely; we are just a hodgepodge group of dinosaurs not really focused on working as a team or hunting anything... In fact it's worse than that -- we are hunting each other!

I don't really need food at the moment so I'm just focused on running away from any potential incoming predators. The worse thing is that I am yellow. Completely bright yellow. This is not an evolutionarily fit color. How was I even born with these crappy genes? Anyway, it's really scary because every predator big dinosaur who passes by me looks at me (because I am bright yellow) and I am saved only by the fact that they are after a different dinosaur, or simply not hungry. It's a horrible feeling because I know I cannot outrun these bad boys.

Suddenly we are moving. The whole pack is moving in the same direction and dinosaurs are struggling to keep up. You might wonder, why are all the dinosaurs struggling to keep up with this dangerous crowd of dinosaurs full of predators? The answer is that we are the only living things left in the world. As such we are the only source of food for each other. If one dinosaur falls behind, that dinosaur will no longer have any food, and will starve to death. So, we take the risk of being eaten by a predator, in hopes that we will eat dinosaurs smaller than us and avoid being eaten by the big dinosaurs. Once again I must stress that I am yellow, so this is a big risk for me.

I take a look at my surroundings. Why, all the human buildings are still intact! No humans, just the buildings. And there are buildings of all types. Office buildings, residential, supermarkets. There must be food in those supermarkets and food stands! I diverge from the group. Some of my "friend" dinosaurs follow me. We poke around at the food stands and we find some white rice, but I'm like "fuck, why don't they have BROWN rice? White rice is not nutritious enough to live off of." Then I also start to wonder if this human food will even be compatible with our dinosaur digestive systems... maybe the only food we can digest is other dinosaurs, and white rice will just pass through unabsorbed. It may even be toxic! And I can't even google if rice is toxic for dinosaurs or not. Ah, the hardships of being a dinosaur.

Why Men Like Lesbian Scenes

Lots of guys give really retarded reasons for why they like lesbo scenes. Girls are always so confused!

But FEAR NOT. I finally have a technical psychological explanation of why we (men) like lesbo porn so much. It all dawned upon me while I was gazing at a lesbo picture I found to use for my dream note. Contrary to popular belief, it is not because of the absence of penises (though that may have a minor impact as well).

Reason 1: Sympathetic response.

You see, naturally when humans see other humans we develop "sympathetic reactions" aka we feel things in place of someone in the picture. If the presence of the male is overpowering in a picture, you might find yourself subconsciously sympathizing with the woman. In this instance you might even imagine a man's touch on you as part of your automatic sympathetic response, even if it feels unpleasant. You are getting in touch with your "gay side" which statistically/evolutionarily speaking is probably not as strong as your straight side, and may even be negligible!

Now, consider lesbian photos...

The beauty of lesbo scenes stems from the fact that no matter whom the viewer subconsciously "chooses" to sympathetically respond to, he will find his heterosexual response stimulated by the notion of feeling up a perfect curvy body, and will thus always feel great. In my viewing of one such photo, I observed that my sympathetic response rapidly switched between the females, resulting in me being able to feel both of them up virtually SIMULTANEOUSLY in a POSITIVE FEEDBACK LOOP.

Reason 2: The illusion of abundance.

How do you feel when you look at a hetero picture? You may feel slightly turned on (or not, if you are desensitized to such things), but the feeling is overshadowed by jealousy. The viewer cannot comfortably put himself in the shoes of the male because he knows that the dude is getting the girl rather than he. He might even become combative and develop a desire to PUNCH THAT DOUCHE IN THE FACE (this is a highly exaggerated description of my reaction, which involved only minimal jealousy). This arouses feelings of resentment which curtail the viewer's arousal.

Now look at a lesbian photo. Note your greatly reduced levels of jealousy due to the absence of males. In such a scene with a plethora of females and an absence of males, we are subconsciously led to believe that the world is full of hot babes who, ***lacking access to males, must resort to each other for sexual release*** (this is a key point, especially to all girls who say "but they're lesbian so they wouldn't go for you anyway"). No matter the background story or nature of the scene, this is the subconscious illusion that we create from watching such images. And it feels very good because it means we can have sex with all of them and give them lots of babies, with absolutely no competition.

And those, my friends, are the REAL reasons that men like lesbo scenes.

Disclaimer: I do not really play favorites with depictions of lesbian vs heterosexual sex. This entire article is extrapolated from my response to ONE hot pic of two lesbians in a shower.

Shower dream

I'm taking a shower in my apartment when I notice a mirror.

"Wait a minute I don't remember our shower room having a mirror," I think to myself. Oh well, must be bad memory, says my dream logic. "Wait a minute I don't see myself in the mirror," I think to myself, suddenly alarmed. Oh well, must be because I am hidden behind the curtains, says my dream logic (even though I have a clear line of sight to the mirror).

So I go on with showering and stuff, squeezing some gelatinous wine from a glass wine bottle into my hands and lathering up my hair with the red substance... the usual, you know.

I am still kind of worried about the whole mirror thing. So I look at the mirror again and I can't see myself. I step out from behind the curtains and I see myself. Alright, nothing wrong there. I step back behind the curtains and then back out again -- again, I see myself, no probl-- wait what OH MY GOD, WHY ARE THERE TWO OF ME IN THE MIRROR, ONE OF THEM IS MY OWN REFLECTION BUT THE OTHER IS OPENING THE SHOWER DOOR TO EXIT THE SHOWER ROOM, I KNEW THIS WAS A NIGHTMARE AHHHHHH

So then I get the usual nightmare spasms, strange heart patterns etc, in an extremely difficult and prolonged process of waking up.

James bond dream

I regain consciousness.

"Fully automatic?" I hear one guard ask. "Yes" is the response.

A blurry image of a guard loading up an AK-47, most likely to shoot me.

Like in any computer game, I quickly look around for objects to exploit for a quick escape. This is a hairy situation; 5 guys with fully automatic rifles, all about to shoot at me just as I am awakening. I realize that the use of "fully automatic" weapons is actually a clue for me; I can assume these bozos are stupid, suck at aiming, and will suffer from high recoil.

I spot a pile of explosives. I suddenly run towards the explosives. They shoot at me. Boom.

The force of the explosion throws me off my feet, but I quickly get up. The small hostage room in which I was held is now crumbling to the ground. Encompassing this hostage room is a house full of bad guys who were at a quiet meeting (murdering me was not the main event of this gathering) and are fortunately disoriented by the explosion. In the chaos and confusion that I have caused, with people screaming and bullets flying everywhere, I sprint out the large garage door of the house towards where my car is parked.

I hide behind a tree and bust out my James Bond remote control. My sleek car screams into the scene and halts near the house, where upwards of a hundred enemies are pursuing me. Remaining hidden behind the tree, I press one button on my remote. Instantly, upwards of a hundred micro-rockets are ejected from the car's roof -- one for each of my enemies. Every "rocket-propelled bullet" seeks and enters the skulls of my enemies and explodes inside their brains -- save one. One bullet has somehow only crippled, rather than killed, its intended target. The 50-yr-old man crawls towards me on his hands and knees.

"Oh well," I think to myself. What can he do anyway? I drive my car into the water, where it transforms into a speedboat. Somehow the 50-yr-old has developed superhuman crawling/swimming abilities and is in hot pursuit of my car/boat. He grabs onto the side of my boat. He uses telepathy to instill scary images in my mind: I hallucinate that I am now underwater in an eerie green light. Right in front of me dangles the elongated, misshapen white skeleton leg of some emaciated white creature with a distorted face.

I am freaking out so I wake up. Sleep paralysis ensues. When this happens I usually try to use my working muscles -- fingers, sometimes hands, sometimes a bit of arm -- to make some noise to wake myself up; IT NEVER WORKS. This time I tried a REALLY LOUD SNORE, because apparently I can control my snoring muscles while sleep-paralyzed. The snore fails to jerk me awake and in fact only succeeds in scaring me more, making me panic. Seconds later I wake up and can move all my muscles -- phewphf.

Unhinge back of head (very short)

I am sitting with some bros eating some food.

I notice out of the corner of my eye one of my friends opening up the back of his head with his hands. His head is hinged at the front and can open from the back.

He systematically stuffs some spaghetti noodles into his head.

He closes his head.

Maggots, posessed people, etc.

changing lightbulb to 65 watts instead of 75 watts.

halogen lamp began to sizzle so i turn it off and i look up and there are WORMS

then suddenly MAGGOTS IN MY HAIR and when i brush them they come out ahhh and i hear FLIES IN MY EAR!

SO I GO TAKE SHOWER TO WASH THEM OFF IT SO SCARY

then i am at gbc with some friends except it is like at crossroads. the lady swipe i have no mealpoints so i say use debit

i have to katch up to my friends, simmern is there and kathleen. simmern throws a basketball at kathleen who fails to catch so i catch, i drible and it's hard to dribble especially with cars on the left side on street, i afraid basketball will roll to them.

we pass a couple of cop cars and one undercover cop car and now instead of walking with friends i am in car with family.

we are suspicious of cops might break into gang war but we keep going to our destination thing at bottom of hill.

we get out of car, dad goes somewhere, sister goes into house.

gang arrives, weeoo police siren, a fight break out, so we yell for christine to come out of house and she come. we all get into car to pick up dad i want to get into driver seat b/c more control, bu whatever i in back.

mom drive around real slow and weird. i see dad so we uturn to get him. he is like at concentration camp working and not allowed to leave. but we call him over because we are going to rescue him. but he only reluctantly comes over. we beckon him in and mom and him give a sort of "sad smile" almost as if they know the plan will not work and we are all screwed.

mom drives surprisingly slowly as if under control, posessed, by some entity, to try to make us fail. finally i try to help ou by unbuckling my seatbelt and i want to floor the gas pedal with my HAND but as i reach over CHRISTINE restrains me and starts to tickle me and do weird-ass motions with herself. i'm like wh are you restraining me we have to escape and she's like "hehe because i'm a weird girl hehehehehe" nd i'm like oh no my sister si under the influence of the posession entity demon thing too. and then finally big brother is taking over my mind and i feel the laugh coming on "huh huh huh huh huh" as a groan escapes from me in real life.