face book nightmare

The following is not a nightmare about facebook, but a nightmare involving a face and a book.

Setting: Library/laboratory/hospital. There are bookshelves and study desks, but also flasks, test tubes, and sinks.

I'm sitting at a table with four people just chatting. Nearby, a woman is standing near a bookshelf and flipping through its books, looking for something.

Suddenly the woman at the bookshelf becomes motionless. Her back is turned towards us and she is still facing the bookshelf, but she is frozen.

"Hey, are you okay?" I yell. Upon further inspection I discover that she is leaning forward slightly, her face turned to the side and stuck to one of the books. Her right cheek had literally been glued to the cover of one of the books on the shelf. She does not respond. She needs immediate medical attention. The first step would be to get that book off the shelf. But who is up for the task? Moving the book from its current position could potentially REVEAL SOME EXTREMELY GROSS THINGS. The girls who were sitting at my table take notice of the situation and gather around the bookshelf in curiosity. Alas, I realize that I am the only man nearby; gender stereotypes kick in and I know I have to be the one that moves the book from the bookshelf.

But the situation is really scary. "Don't look at the book," I tell myself. So instead of using my hand to move the book like a real man would, I display a great feat of flexibility as I lean back, lift my foot up high, and poke that book with my toe. As the book falls off the shelf, it rips free from the woman's melted face. her body drops onto the floor, lifeless, the entire right side of her face nothing but black charred flesh. Unfortunately, I cannot avoid looking at the book. On it, the gelatinous goopy remains of her melted face stare back at me.

"Nightmare climax" having been achieved, I now experience the familiar (and extremely unpleasant) symptoms of coming out of a nightmare. The muscle spasms. The ticklish feeling. The overwhelming fear. And, to top it off, a hallucination of a crossbreed between a skull and a fat guy's face, which is laughing at me.

Finally, I gain control of my snoring muscles and let out the loudest snore I have ever made, thereby waking myself up.

Aragorn Rides a Dolphin, Fried Egg becomes Lady Gaga

Here I was enjoying my semi-conscious dream state, prancing around in a forest. I lay down on my back in the damp grass. I reached out with my hands and felt the soil underneath me. It was nice and cool, refreshing. Silver clouds loomed above me, and I beckoned the rain to come... everything was more real than real life, and I could smell the earth. In this limbo between dreaming and waking, all of my senses were heightened as if I were on drugs instead of asleep.

Unfortunately, everything was suddenly interrupted by none other than... Aragorn, son of Arathorn, riding a dolphin in the clouds! Needless to say, my heightened semi-conscious state was broken. My view floated to the clouds so I could get a better look at him and the dolphin. He spoke some words to me in a British accent.

Not long after Aragorn and the dolphin rode past me, a fried egg also appeared out of nowhere, cruising the clouds like it's the most normal thing for fried eggs to do! The fried egg was able to "cook" parts of itself by extending out its limbs into the sun from within the clouds. It cooked both its hands until they turned to an obsidian black, then put its pair of obsidian black patches over its own face -- a fresh new pair of highly stylish sunglasses! It was then revealed that the fried egg was actually lady gaga in disguise; that made a lot of sense to me in my dream logic, because lady gaga always uses the most outlandish ways to express herself visually in her music videos.